The Word of Chaos

This is another story from my time in the computer repair class during high school featuring Hamburger. Hamburger began to realize that he wouldn’t be able to out smart us when talking computer hardware, so he started trying to out talk us in a subject that our class wasn’t familiar with.

Hamburger began to hint around about knowing how to code.  My friends and I had already figured out how little he knew about computer hardware, so we assumed he knew just as little about programming.  We decided to devise a plan to expose how little he knew about coding.  After researching languages, my friends came up with a fake language called Gemini.

A group of us would start up a conversation within his hearing range about a fake programming language.  The features of this fake language were fabricated on the spot.  Hamburger would always come up and elaborate on the concepts we made up.

Hamburger started to become curious about our language and tried to search Google for information.  One of my friends who was well-versed in web design noticed and set up a splash page for Gemini saying that a full site was coming soon.  Once Hamburger found the page, we received daily updates about the website.

Hamburger believed in our hoax for about six months.   My friends and I tried to point out that if he didn’t try to make up facts, we wouldn’t make fun of him.

“Screw you, Kel” was the response that I received from him.

“Only when you program a script in Gemini to do it.”