The Word of Chaos

Kentucky Fried Cruelty is a website that just has to be seen to be believed. It seems that PeTA is now has a beef with KFC, and they’re started a website exposing why KFC is bad. According to PeTA, KFC isn’t very nice to the chickens before they are killed. I don’t intend to go through their entire stance on the subject so check out their website if you’re looking for that. I’d just like to point out a few of my favorite parts of the site.

My favorite part of the website is the Flash game, “Super Chick Sisters.” I thought the game was actually pretty amusing, although I started craving a Famous Bowl about halfway through the game. The game is a clear rip off of Super Mario Bros. You play as two chicks (as in cluck-cluck chicks), who both have hats like our favorite plumbers from Brooklyn. The object of the game is to save Pam Anderson who is dressed up to look exactly like Princess Peach. The designers of the game included some humor that surprised me, but I really want to know why Nintendo allowed them to get away with atrocity. On another thought, Nintendo DID allow Phillips to make those awful CD-I abominations………..

The website had even more to offer me since I’m a West Virginian. Nothing quite beats finding out that there’s a KFC supplier in Moorefield, West Virginia, and they’re under fire for animal cruelty as well. I believe everyone in my building heard me laughing when I discovered this tidbit. West Virginia already has to struggle to get positive press; I’m pretty sure we could have done without this negative press.

How do I really feel about PeTA’s message in this case? I actually side with PeTA on this one a bit. I won’t stop eating meat any time soon, but I don’t really think it’s too much to ask to give the chicks painkillers and such before they are killed. These chickens are being cultivated rather than being in the wild, so they don’t really have a chance to escape. If we were out hunting wild chickens and such, I would probably feel differently. In that case, the situation is survival of the fittest.

I normally don’t agree with PeTA. For example, I think a leaflet saying that I should keep my doggies and kitties away from my dad because he goes fishing is probably going a little far. When I go fishing, that’s survival of the fittest. I have evolved to the point where I can trap prey using a rod and reel. That’s the way nature works.

I never really figured out why PeTA gets mad when humans kill animals but seems pretty silent when animals kill each other. Maybe we should teach the alligators and antelope to get along… Wouldn’t that be grand? I’d pay money to see a PeTA volunteer try to teach an alligator manners.

If a member of PeTA just happens to wander by this blog, I’d just like to let you know that advertising the fact Good Charlotte supports PeTA doesn’t make me want to join the cause. In fact, I think that has the opposite effect on me. Not even Fall Out Boy could make me want to join your cause now! Now, get the band Chimera to tell me to join PeTA, and I’ll strongly consider your proposal!

Okay. Seriously though. You win, PeTA. I won’t eat at KFC.

“But wait!” my local readers will say. “There is no KFC in Montgomery!”

So what? I’m still doing what Pam Anderson wants me to do! That’s all that matters.